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  1. #1
    Initiate Team_Talon's Avatar
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    Shugendo: A Warriors Path Chapter 01: The Commencement

    Hey guys here is the 1st chapter of my manga feedback appreciated thanks...

    http://www.megaupload.com/?d=0M3KXX0L

  2. #2
    I'll be waiting, be sure. Yoru's Avatar
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    Well, it's pretty well drawn but I think your techniques to much Naruto's. you should change at least the modality in which they fight

  3. #3
    Initiate Team_Talon's Avatar
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    thanks in the beginning of the series the use of tech seals or hand seals will be used but as more characters are introduced you'll see different styles because of the various disciplines in the series.

  4. #4
    I'll be waiting, be sure. Yoru's Avatar
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    In my manga (which I'll draw someday probably ) There are 3 styles of fighting:

    The buddhist techniques: to control nature elements around you.

    The shugendo: used by the yamabushi which controls what humans created as metal (weapons, blades) and demoniac mystic powers which don't have anything to do with elements

    The samurai fighting style: uses katana and martial arts to fight, often adding the inner life force in order to make blows stronger and stuff, improve eyesight, hearing...

    These are the ones used by me

  5. #5
    H+ xioaxioa's Avatar
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    It would be perfect without the hand seals. Other than that, what really stood out for me where the eyes. I love seeing those eyes in manga. Keep that up. Also, great story.
    Is that Asuka chick the main love interest?

    I Love You!
    Spoiler!

  6. #6
    Initiate Team_Talon's Avatar
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    In Shugendo we use...

    Every clan has a Shungo-Gi (Clan Ability) and every shugendo has a Reikiretsu (AuraBurst) final technique. Besides these the warriors are specified by...

    Shugendo: Shugendo is a mental state of mind and way of living to obtain the spirituality of man and god through concentrated prayer and physical training. The Shugendo is a warrior either male or female trained in the various styles of combat, 盛唱型 Seishoukata or the Energy Style is the ability to control and manipulate Jinenkan to perform techniques fueled by the user’s Ki or Prana. 蜃気楼型 Shinkiroukata or the Mirage Style is the ability to control and manipulate his/her opponents mind by infecting their ki or Prana. 招引型 Shouninkata or the Summoning Style is the ability to summon creatures and various tools that are contracted by the user. Shintekikata or the Physical Style is the ability to subdue an opponent(s) through hand to hand Combat. 調印型 Chouinkata or the Sealing Style is the ability to perform various techniques through the use of scrolls and seals. Last is Bukikata or the Weapons Style is the study of weapons and tools. These five styles of combat are combined to obtain the final goal of spiritual paradise. In Shugendo, the ultimate objective is to establish peace between people, and in your own mind. The highest level and most important virtue are that of peace and harmony. Carrying peace and harmony in your heart is the same as possessing the spirit of Tathagata. This is the backbone of the Armega/Ketiyama people. This is the most important principle in all of the Shugendo scrolls.

    Wicca: The Wicca of the series that reside in Soto and Yamakan. They fight by gathering Akasha making their eyes become completely black and use incantations to perform techniques. The Wicca are divided ones who worship Arhiman and ones who Worship Endor.

    Demons: Are inhabitants of the Yomi Realm that fight similar to shugendo and or Wicca without the use of tech seals. Some have the ability to transform...

    Deities: They are the creators and have god level techniques and skills. I haven't really touched on them yet they are a work in progress for now...

  7. #7
    Initiate Team_Talon's Avatar
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    Nah Asuka is kinda like how Sakura is to Ryu in street fighter...

  8. #8
    I'll be waiting, be sure. Yoru's Avatar
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    and in my manga there are deities too..the story's kinda based on them..

  9. #9
    Scanlator POW's Avatar
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    Firstly I realize making a manga is a ton of work and I can tell you put alot of work into this as it is very professional looking.


    Here are some basic notes:

    - At the beginning perhaps a map with an introduction scene to explain the basic story and current environment where the current events take place.

    - I can see the Naruto influence in the kunai and hand seals but do the techniques have names because if so maybe they should be illustrated with them.

    - I like the school scene where the go into the energy types but I hoped it would be longer to explain more things. Exposition scenes are very important to the audience trying to keep up with the ongoings of the story.

    - lol I got confused that guy Ninche and Shuyin look too much alike maybe one them should have a scar



    Overall I think its off to a good start and would like to see more so keep up the good work.


    Fire type

    What chakra type are you?
    http://www.quizilla.com/quizzes/4038...lement-are-you

  10. #10
    Global Moderator Jaiden's Avatar
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    I can tell you put alot of hard work into this. I must say not bad. I hope to see the next chapter.

    Manga reading list: Bleach, Naruto, Katekyo Hitman Reborn, One Piece, Code Breaker, Gamaran, Kuroko No Basket, Fairy Tail, The World God Only Knows, Kimi No Iru Machi, Good Ending, Medaka Box, Nisekoi, D.Gray-Man, Ao No Exorcist, Freezing, Magi - Labyrinth of Magic, Soul Eater, Rosario Vampire Season II, Iris Zero, Ubell Blatt, Bloody Cross, Sun-Ken Rock, and Infinite Stratos,

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